Reel reviews for real people

Rating: PG-13  for intense sequences of violence and action

Genre: Action/Adventure

Staring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kingsley

Director: Mike Newell

Plot: Walt Disney Pictures and Jerry Bruckheimer Films present “Prince of Persia: the Sands of Time,” an epic action-adventure set in the mystical lands of Persia. A rogue prince named Dastan (Jake Gyllenhaal) reluctantly joins forces with a mysterious princess Tamina (Gemma Arterton) and together, they race against dark forces to safeguard an ancient dagger capable of releasing the Sands of Time—a gift from the gods that can reverse time and allow its possessor to rule the world. Directed by Mike Newell (“Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire”) with a cast that includes Sir Ben Kingsley and Alfred Molina, and a screenplay by Boaz Yakin and Doug Miro & Carlo Bernard from a screen story by Jordan Mechner, “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” hits theaters Memorial Day weekend 2010. –© Walt Disney

Running time: 1:54

Kate says - 3 stars “If you go into this movie expecting a fast paced-swashbuckling-action-adventure-summer-popcorn-blockbuster-epic type movie, you won’t be in the least bit disappointed. If you go into Prince of Persia expecting Oscar worthy performances, a deep message and meaningful dialogue…well you will find the movie lacking. But if that’s what you were expecting, then you haven’t been paying attention to the previews and the hype. It’s a Jerry Bruckheimer (Pirates of the Caribbean ring a bell?) film based on a video game, after all, and it delivers exactly what you’d expect it to deliver. It’s a good old fashioned feeling action adventure, so just sit back and enjoy it for what it is. Let the summer begin!”

Ebert says -2 stars “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” is a children’s story beefed up to appeal to young teens. It’s based on a video game, but don’t make me play it…The two leads are not inspired. Jake Gyllenhaal could make the cover of a muscle mag, but he plays Dastan as if harboring Spider-Man’s doubts and insecurities. I recall Gemma Arterton as resembling a gorgeous still photo in a cosmetics ad. If the two actors had found more energy and wit in their roles.” (read full review)

Michael Phillips (Chicago Tribune) says – 2 1/2 stars “Prince of Persia” combines the mythic bombast of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” outings with the peppy brainlessness of the “National Treasure” films. Working with a credible lower-class-British dialect, that great Persian actor Jake Gyllenhaal stars as the grown-up street urchin adopted by the king… It’s sort of fun, certainly more so than the “National Treasure” pictures, as well as less manic (a little less) than the recent “Mummy” films.” (read full review)

Betsy Sharkey (Los Angeles Times) says – 3 1/2 stars (of 5) “With apologies to Ben Franklin, the only things certain in life are death, taxes and that a Jerry Bruckheimer film will do its bombastic best to pummel, pound and, now, parkour you into submission. “Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time” is all that — deaths by the thousands and the sort of spectacular spectacle possible with a rumored budget of $150 million and change…There’s just a frothiness to Gyllenhaal that he can’t seem to suppress — it even lurks behind Dastan’s sneer — and it never fails to take the edge off. Too bad. That leaves us with a prince in need, when what we really need is prince indeed.” (read full review)

Lisa Schwarzbaum (Entertainment Weekly) says – B “As sword-and-sandal fantasy movies based on videogames and starring a buffed-up Jake Gyllenhaal go, Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time goes pretty well. To the credit of director Mike Newell (drawing on his Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire wrangling skills), a conclave of screenwriters who keep the dialogue on the sharp side, and the life’s-a-game instincts of producer Jerry Bruckheimer, all that Arabian Nights-like stuff unfolds at a brisk, well-paced clip.” (read full review)

Other movie reviews by Kate

According to the ABC Bachelorette website,

Ali Fedotowsky is back and this time, love not work, is number one on her agenda. “I definitely have a lot of regret,” she says of her decision to leave Jake Pavelka to return to her job — one she’s now quit! “I’m ready to move forward,” she swears. “Bring on those boys. I’m excited.” She’s hoping her journey will end “with tears in my eyes and I’m looking at man down on one knee, asking me to be his wife.”

After meeting all the guys and going through the usual corny attempts to make  good first impression, Ali gives the first impression rose to Roberto. Ali tells Roberto he is “so handsome.” He tells her she is beautiful and teaches her a some salsa moves. “I am really, really digging Roberto,” she says.

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Then it was time for the guys to vote for who they thought was there for the wrong reasons. The unlucky winner was Justin (pro wrestler, a.k.a. “Rated R”.) Ali had the option of sending him home on the spot, however, she decided to give him a rose instead, and keep him.

Tonight’s roses went to:

Chris H. Age: 27 Occupation: Real Estate Developer

Chris L. Age: 33 Occupation: Landscaper

Chris N. Age: 29 Occupation: Entrepreneur

Craig M. Age: 34 Occupation: Dental Sales

Craig R. Age: 27 Occupation: Lawyer

Frank Age: 31 Occupation: Retail Manager

Hunter Age: 28 Occupation: Internet Account Executive

Jonathan Age: 30 Occupation: Weatherman

John C. Age: 32 Occupation: Hotel Business Development

Justin Age: 26 Occupation: Entertainment Wrestler

Jesse Age: 24 Occupation: General Contractor

Kasey Age: 27 Occupation: Advertising Account Executive

Roberto Age: 26 Occupation: Insurance Agent

Steve Age: 28 Occupation: Sales Representative

Kirk Age: 27 Occupation: Sales Consultant

Ty Age: 31 Occupation: Medical Sales

Tyler V. Age: 25 Occupation: Online Advertising ------- Which means that Derek, Derrick, Jason, Jay, John N., Kyle, Phil, and Tyler M. are going home.

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I am having a great debate within myself.  The intellectual, grown-up side of me (quit laughing, Liz) is telling me to be strong and resist temptation.  The frivolous, immature side of me is telling to just give in. It’s just once a week. What will it hurt, after all?

What is the cause of this worrisome dilemma? Well, it’s the start of a new season of The Bachelorette, of course. I know. I know. Don’t even say it.

The commercials always begin a few weeks before the first episode. At my first glimpse of the commercial, I roll my eyes and say out loud  to whom ever is within earshot (in my best disgusted voice),”Oh geez. Not again! Another season of the stupid Bachelor/Bachelorette show! I hate how last season’s show ended. I vow to never watch it again!” And at that moment, I actually mean it.  At the next viewing of the promo commercial, I may just sneak a glance at who the “lucky”, and I use that term loosely,  bachelor/bachelorette is. By the next airing, I’m thinking about how it won’t do any harm really, to just get a peak at who the guys/girls are. That doesn’t actually mean I’m going to watch the show.

And then it happens. All of the sudden, I actually start to toy with the idea of giving the  show just one more shot. I know I shouldn’t do it. I’m fully aware that the show is ridiculous. I realize that we, as the audience, are much better at picking the right girl/guy than the actual bachelor/bachelorette is. I know that screaming “NO!” at the TV during the final proposal episode every year has absolutely no effect on the outcome of the show.

And yet, here I sit at my computer on a Monday afternoon in May, just hours away from the premier of the new season of “The Bachelorette”, still debating whether to watch it, or not. It’s a matter I must weigh carefully because I know…I KNOW…that if I dare to watch the first episode, I will once again be irrevocably, and forever-more,  sucked into the drama for yet another season.

Look at her, though! It’s Ali.

Ali Fedotowsky

Age:25

Occupation: Advertising Account Manager

Hometown: Williamstown, MA

Resides in: San Francisco, CA

The bachelorette is cute little Ali, who I picked to win the heart of Jake last season on The Bachelor. Ali who tearfully told Jake that she had to leave the show or she would be fired from her job. Ali who then realized the error of her decision, and asked Jake to take her back and give them one more try. Ali who got told no by Jake, who then went on to pick Vienna! What! Vienna?!?! I’m still reeling over that one!

I have a love/hate relationship with this show.

I realize that by the time you read this, my decision will have already been made. Either I will have succumbed to the pull of Ali finding her true love in front of all of America, or I will have remained a strong, intelligent and sensible woman, who found the strength to finally resist the urge to watch this silly show. I guess you’ll just have to stop back by Coffee Break tomorrow to see if I’ve written a “This week on the Bachelorette” update in the featured section, OR…if I have not!

~Kate

Enjoy your Coffee Break!

*Just leave a comment on this post, or any other post for that matter, and be automatically entered in this week’s giveaway.

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recap by Evie

I am so glad we have technology that allows us to rewatch our favorite TV shows the next day. I can’t even remember what Jacob said they died for, which is the title of this episode.

It starts off with Jack waking up in his bed and going to the bathroom mirror where he sees his neck is bleeding. I’ve already lost track of how long it’s been since they landed at LAX but I’m going to assume this is the same cut on his neck that he noticed he had on the plane. I’m predicting that the cut is from the final battle with Smoke Monster Locke but that’s as far as my theory goes.

Jack and his son are at the breakfast table eating Super Bran and Aunt Claire wakes up and joins them. The phone rings and its Oceanic Air telling Jack that they found his father’s casket and it will be arriving later that day. Actually, it’s Desmond on the other line. I don’t think he works for the airline unless Charles Widmore owns the company. Desmond is key to making sure everything happens like it’s supposed to and things are falling in to place.

On the beach, the sun is rising and the Lostees are still sorrowing over the sinking of the sub. Jack stitches up Kate’s gunshot wound in her shoulder. Kate is devastated that Sun and Jin died and she’s PO’d that Locke is responsible. They start discussing how they are going to kill Locke. Sawyer is finally conscious and sitting up and Hurley is just hanging out with him. They have got to be wondering how they will ever get off the island now. The sub is gone and the pilot is dead so they can’t use the airplane. They all seem despondent and tired and angry. Jack tells them they need to find Desmond because if Locke needs him dead then they need him alive.

At the school where Dr. Benjamin Linus and John Locke teach, Desmond is watching from his car. Locke has recovered enough to be back at work and the students are glad to see him. Des starts his car but Ben stops him and yells for someone to call the police. Des gets out and punches Ben and pins him to the hood of his car. Ben tells him that he will not let him hurt Mr. Locke again and Des tells him that he is not there to hurt him but to help him. Ben asks Desmond who he is and Des continues to smack him around to jog his memory. Ben sees flashes of the time at the harbor where Desmond was punching him after he showed up to kill Penny. I think of Desmond as an angel stepping in to knock some sense in to everyone.

On the island we finally see Ben again. I’ve been wondering what he’s been up to and couldn’t remember where we left him. Miles and Richard are with him. And Miles just answered one of my questions. They are walking to the Dharma barracks and Ben says he’s taking a short cut and he should know the fastest way because he lived there for so long. Miles tells him he lived there 30 years before Ben did, which was last week. So Jack has had the cut on his neck for a week or so. They are going to the barracks to get explosives. They are hidden in Ben’s secret room behind the book case. That’s the place where Ben could pull the plug to summon the monster. But Ben finally realized that the monster was actually summoning Ben. As they get closer to the house Miles’s ghost-detecting senses activate. He hesitates telling Ben who he is hearing but Richard tells him it’s Alex, Ben’s daughter; after she was murdered Richard buried her there.  Ben thanks Richard and they proceed inside the house. While they are in the secret closet to gather all the C4 to blow up the airplane, they hear a noise from the kitchen. Ben brings his rifle and discovers Zoe, whom he has never seen before and who is my least favorite new character. Widmore is with her and he and Benjamin finally meet again. Ben is stunned that he was able to return to the island. Widmore tells Zoe to go to the dock and fetch their supplies from the outrigger then sink it. Ben warns her not to move and Widmore tells Ben that he better not shoot him because he is the last hope for survival. Finally! We’re going to get some background on this rivalry or game they’ve been playing! Zoe leaves, and Widmore asks Richard what he’s doing there. They speak to each other as if it hasn’t been years and years since they last saw one another. I would be like, “Wow, Richard! You really never age. You look exactly the same as the day Ellie shot my son, Daniel. What’s been happening here while I’ve been gone?!” But no, the conversation is focused on Ben. Widmore tells Ben that he’s had the plane rigged with explosives since the day he got back to the island and he’s always been three steps ahead of Ben. He reveals that Jacob visited him shortly after his freighter was blown up. (They have one more chance in the final episode to explain how Jacob goes to and from the island.) Jacob convinced Widmore of “the error of his ways” and told him everything he needs to know for this exact purpose. He begins to tell what that purpose is but Zoe interrupts on the walkie talkie. Locke is in the canoe coming toward them and Widmore tells Zoe to high-tail it back to the house; they all need to hide.

At the school, the nurse is anointing Ben’s wounds and patching him all up. He looks like he did after Desmond beat him up at the dock and was in a sling. He corrects the nurse when she calls him Mr. Linus. It’s DOCTOR Linus. That was my first clue that Ben might not be as nice as he was pretending to be. Locke rolls into the room and asks him about the incident in the parking lot. Ben tells him about Desmond and his visions when he was hitting him. Ben told Locke that the man wasn’t trying to hurt him but said he was trying to help him to let go and Ben believed him. This stopped Locke from calling the police because he remembered that Jack Shepard had told him that he needed to let go of the pain and guilt he was carrying from the plane crash in which his father was severely injured.

At the LAPD, Miles is getting ready to go to his father’s presentation at the museum. I wonder what name his father will have. He’s had several aliases on the show all having to do with candles. Desmond shows up and asks to speak with Detective James Ford. He turns himself in for running over Locke and for beating up Ben. Des is put in a cell with Sayid and next to Kate.

Jack and Sawyer are looking for the well where Desmond was left by Sayid. They are concluding that Locke didn’t kill Desmond himself because he can’t kill them. Sawyer is carrying the guilt and burden of be responsible for the sub sinking and the deaths of Sun, Jin, Sayid, and Lapidus. Hurley and Kate are following them through the jungle. Little 13-year-old Jacob appears to Hurley and demands he give back the ashes that he took from Ilana’s things after she died. They are his ashes after all. The kid bolts, and Hurley takes off after him. Hurley stops at a campfire because he sees grown-man Jacob and asks where he’s been. Jacob tells him that it doesn’t matter he’s here now. Hurley asks if he saw the kid run by with his ashes. He tells Hugo that the ashes are in the fire and that when the fire burns out he’ll never see Jacob again. Hurley needs to go get his friends because they are very close to the end. My friend facebooked me, “Yes, Jacob we ARE very close to the end!”

Smoke Locke gets off the canoe with his back pack and rifle. Widmore and Zoe decide to hide in the hidden room but tells them he’s going to be in the jungle; and Ben and Richard decide to wait for Locke. He asks for Widmore’s walkie talkies, keeps one and gives the other one to Richard. Richard wants to talk to Smoke Locke. He knows him as the man in black and thinks that if he joins him he’ll leave the rest alone and give them a chance at survival. Locke has transformed, and at full speed and force slams into Richard. We didn’t really see where Richard lands so I’m not sure if Smokey can kill the immortal man. Ben sits on the porch and Smoke Locke approaches telling him he’s just the man he’s looking for. Ben says, “Well you found me would you like some lemonade?” Locke tells Ben that he needs him to kill some people. Ben wants to know why he would do that. Locke says that once he leaves the island Ben can have it all to himself. Ben says, “Alright.” It’s not an enthusiastic statement but Locke takes it as an agreement that he’ll do the dirty work. Ben tells Locke that the outrigger down at the dock belongs to Charles Widmore and that he is hiding in the closet. Ben, Ben, Ben.

At the high school Ben is walking to his car and Alex approaches him to find out what happened to him. She offers him a ride home with her mother. Danielle Rousseau insists that he also come over for dinner. She appreciates all he’s done for her daughter. Alex’s father passed away and Ben has been the only father figure she has ever known. Ben becomes teary-eyed.

In the Dharma house Ben follows Locke to the secret room. Locke advises Ben to wait out in the room and warns him that he’s not going to want to see this. Ben tells him he wants to see this. He just can’t wait for the revenge that’s due to Widmore for killing his daughter. Ben insincerely apologizes to Charles. Locke moves toward Widmore and tells him that it’s nice to be able to talk face to face without those fences between them. Locke asks Zoe who she is and she begins to give her name when Widmore stops her from speaking. So Locke whips out his knife and slices her throat. Locke explains that because Widmore told her not to talk, that made her pointless. Locke tells Widmore that he’s going to get what he wants: he’s finally going to leave the island. However, he just needs to motivate Widmore to tell him why he came back to the island. Unless he answers him the first thing Locke is going to do when he gets off the island is kill Widmore’s daughter, Penny. Widmore believes he will kill Penny whether he talks to Locke or not, but Locke promises that he won’t. Widmore tells him that he brought Desmond Hume back to the island because of his resistance to electromagnetism; he is a measure of last resort. He doesn’t say anything further because he doesn’t want to reveal anything to Ben. Locke asks Widmore to whisper to him, and as he leans in and begins to speak, Ben fires his weapon and shoots down Widmore. Ben tells Locke that Widmore doesn’t get to save his daughter. Rats! It’s over? Just like that? The season finale better explain the Widmore/Linus situation better. Locke isn’t too concerned because Widmore already told him what he needed to know, so no harm done. After Ben kills Widmore, Locke tells him that he never ceases to amaze him and Ben asks who else he needs to kill. Ben, Ben, Ben.

It’s nightfall when the Lostees get back to the campfire. Jacob says Hello to each of them and calls them by name. Hurley points out where Jacob is standing, but everyone can see and hear Jacob now. Kate asks about the names on the wall. She asks Jacob if Sun and Jin and Sawyer are dead because he wrote their names on the wall. Jacob says that he’s very sorry. Hurley tries to get her to settle down but she insists on being told what they died for and that it wasn’t for nothing. You go girl! If it was Jack he wouldn’t demand answers he would just change the subject.  Jacob invites them to sit and he’ll explain why he chose the candidates, and about protecting the island, because once the fire burns out one of them is going to have to do it.

Jack is sitting in his office at the hospital clinic and John Locke drops by for a visit. Locke notices a family photo on his desk of Christian, Jack and Jack’s son, David. Jack tells Locke it was taken last Thanksgiving. There is no mom in the picture. Locke tells Jack that they were on the same plane from Sydney and Jack gave him his business card, which Locke tossed in the trash. Then a few days later he is hit by a car and ends up being treated by Dr. Shepard. Jack still wants to fix him, but Locke still doesn’t want to be fixed. Locke tells Jack about Desmond wanting to help him let go. Jack wants to know if Locke thinks he sent Desmond to run him down. No, Locke didn’t think that, but he suggests that maybe all this is happening for a reason and that Jack is supposed to fix him. Jack tells him not to confuse coincidence with fate. Locke tells him that he is ready to get out of the chair.

At the campfire, Jacob begins by telling Jack and Kate and Hurley and Sawyer that he brought them all to the island because he made a mistake a very long time ago. Because of that mistake there is a very good chance that they and everyone they love is going to die. That mistake was the monster. He explains that he made the smoke monster who he is, and ever since then he’s been trying to kill Jacob. He tells them that he realized sooner or later Smokey would find the loophole to the rule that they couldn’t kill one another, and he would need a replacement; and that’s why he brought them to the island. Sawyer expresses his annoyance at being brought to the island. He says that in his life he was doing just fine and they shouldn’t have to pay for Jacob’s mistake. Jacob corrects him and tells them that none of them were doing alright. He didn’t pluck any of them out of a happy existence; they were all flawed and alone just like Jacob. They were looking for something that they couldn’t find, and they needed the island as much as it needed them. Kate asks why her name was crossed off the wall and it was because she became a mother to Aaron. He adds that it was just a line of chalk in a cave, but she can have the job if she wants it. Jack asks what the job is. Jacob tells them that there is a light at the center of the island and their job would be to make sure it never goes out. Sawyer tells him that his monster friend said there is nothing to protect it from. Jacob tells them that they must protect the light from the monster. Jack says ,”So you want us to kill him. Is that even possible?” Jacob says, “I certainly hope so because he is going to try to kill you.” Wait a second. Jacob isn’t even going to tell them what they have to do? He must have a lot of faith that one of these guys is going to figure it out. Hurley asks who Jacob is going to pick. He tells them that he is giving them the one thing he never had: a choice. Kate asks what if no one chooses to do it. Jacob says, “Then this ends very badly.”

My favorite line of this episode.

It’s no surprise that Jack volunteers. He believes this is why he’s here and what he’s supposed to do. Jacob tells him that it’s time. Jacob takes them to a stream and tells Jack that the light is located in the heart of the island which is beyond the bamboo field where Jack first woke up after the crash of Oceanic 815. Jack had never found anything past the bamboo field but Jacob assures him that he’ll be able to find it now. Sawyer comments to Kate about “his” God complex. Not sure if he was referring to Jack or Jacob. Hurley says he’s just glad it’s not him that has to protect the island. Hmmm…famous last words? Jacob asks Jack for a cup, which he happens to have in his backpack. Jacob touches the water in the stream and says a chant. He fills the cup with water and tells Jack he will have to do the job of protecting the island as long as he can. Jack takes a huge drink of the water. Jacob tells him that now they are the same.

At the LAPD Sayid, Kate, and Desmond are loaded onto a truck for transport. Kate tells Sawyer that he can still let her go free; she restates her innocent and she knows that he believes her. No, Kate, it doesn’t work like that. In the back of the truck Des tells the other two that it’s time to leave. Kate asks, “Who are you?” Sayid tells her that he’s a crazy person who turned himself in. Desmond explains that he ran over a guy in a wheelchair and will accept being called crazy, but still asks if they want to get out of there. He tells them that the driver knows where to stop and after he sets them free he is going to ask each of them to do something and they need to promise that they’ll do it. The truck stops and Ana Lucia un-handcuffs them. Hurley pulls up in his hummer and pays off Ana Lucia. Hurley says to Des, “You didn’t tell me that Ana Lucia was going to be here.” She has no idea who he is. “Oh, yeah,” Hurley says, “we’ve never met.” (wink, wink to Desmond). Ana Lucia gets back in the police truck and Hurley asks Des, “She’s not coming with us?” Des replies that she’s not ready yet. Hurley has his Camero waiting for Desmond and Kate, and Sayid is to go with Hurley in the Hummer. Desmond pulls a black dress out of the trunk and tells Kate that they are going to a concert.

In the jungle, Ben asks Locke why he bothers walking if he can just turn into smoke anytime he wants. He says that it reminds him he’s human. The two arrive at the well where Desmond was supposed to have been killed by Sayid. There is a rope extending down into the well and Ben comments that it looks like someone helped him out. Locke corrects him and says, “no someone helped me out.” He tells Ben that Widmore told him Desmond was a failsafe. Jacob’s last resort of keeping him on the island in case none of the candidates worked out. Locke is happy that Des is still alive because he’s going to find Desmond so he can help him destroy the island.

The end is near.

Shrek Forever After – movie reviews by Kate

Reel reviews for real people

Rating: PG  for mild action, some rude humor and brief language.

Genre: Comedy/Kids

Starring: Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Jane Lynch, Eddie Murphy, Antonio Banderas

Director: Mike Mitchell

Plot: After the success of the first three films in the Shrek series, a fourth entry appears with more adventures of Shrek, Fiona, Donkey, and Puss in Boots. But in addition to all the laughs the first three films have brought, SHREK FOREVER AFTER features a whole new element in the series: 3-D animation.

Running Time: 1:31

Kate says – 3 stars “Shrek Forever After” a.k.a. “It’s a Wonderful Life” green ogre style. I know some critics are being pretty harsh in their reviews of  the final installment in the Shrek series, but truthfully, I found it to be funny, fast paced, sweet at moments, and surprisingly entertaining throughout. It’s the perfect kid length (91 minutes) and has a “sometimes-this-being-a-parent-thing-is-not-all-it’s-cracked-up-to-be” theme that parents can relate to.  “Not that I speak from personal experience,” said the movie reviewer with seven kids …heehee. All in all, it’s a great way to spend a few hours with the kiddies at the movies.”

Rene Rodriguez (Miami Herald) says – 3 stars “Considerably toned down are the endless pop-culture references and in-jokes to other movies. There are no Ricky Martin musical numbers this time; there is no re-creation of the bullet-time camera work from The Matrix. For this last chapter, the filmmakers play things relatively straight, resulting in the best Shrek movie to date (or at least the first one I’ve enjoyed)…The story is constructed in a way that requires no previous knowledge of the series, and the movie manages to find fresh humor and sight gags in its storybook universe… The movie is big-hearted and peppered with juicy throwaway bits.” (read full review)

Other reviews by Kate

LOST 6:14 the Candidate

Locke in LA: Jack just finished surgery after the car “accident” with Desmond. Jack wants to know how it happened. Jack wants to try out a new procedure that could repair his previous injury which we find out was caused by a small plane crash. Locke had just gotten his pilot license and he was taking his dad for a ride.  Claire finds Jack at the hospital and shows him a box that their father left for her. Neither of them have any idea why. It’s a music box that plays the lullaby that we’ve heard several times throughout the show. Jack tells Claire that Christian’s body was found in an alley outside a bar; he drank himself to death. They both freak out that they were on the same flight from Sydney.

Sun, Jin, James, Hurley, Kate on Island: are forced back into the polar bear cages “for their own good” because “he’s coming”. Widmore doesn’t care if Kate lives or dies because her name is not on “the list”. Sun and Jin share some quite time in the cage talking about their daughter and Sun gives Jin his ring.

Jack on the Island: wakes up on Hydra Island in the canoe with Sayid near him on the beach. Sayid tells Jack that Locke saved him but the other members of their group were killed or scattered into the jungle. Locke arrives to tell them they have to rescue the others from the cages. The power goes out on the sonar fence and Smokey arrives to kick some Widmore guys’ butt. Jack shows up to open the cage and when Kate asks what he’s doing there, he tells her he is “with” the smoke monster. That was awesome! Jacks tells Kate that he’s going to help them get to the plane but he’s still not leaving the island.

Jack in LA: Finds Bernard Nadler to determine what happened to Locke; Locke had had oral surgery after his accident. They freak out when they discover they were on the same Oceanic flight. Dr. Nadler gives Jack the name of Anthony Cooper as the person who was in the accident that first paralyzed Locke. Jack goes to the assisted living hospital where Anthony, John’s father, is a patient. He will never be able to walk or talk again.

Locke on the Island: He’s quite the bad ass now. He approaches the plane and sees that it was rigged with an explosive. The rest of the group meets him and Locke tells them that Widmore wants to get them all in the same confined space so he can kill them. Locke disarmed the C4 and placed it into a backpack. He told them that they are going to have to take the submarine. Sawyer feigns loyalty to Locke but tells Jack that he doesn’t trust him at all and asks him to keep Locke from getting on the sub once the rest of them get ready to take off. Sawyer leads the group with guns ready toward the sub. They make the pilot fire up the engines, Locke gives Jack the backpack with the C4 (but Jack doesn’t know that) and Jack pushes Locke into the bay. A gun battle breaks out between the Lostees and Widmore’s people. Kate got shot. Claire remains on deck to fend off the bad guys. Jack, who doesn’t want to leave on the sub, takes Kate below for first aid. Sawyer tries to get Claire to run to the sub but when he realizes that Locke is too close he demands that the sub dive and he locks the hatch. Claire is mad that they are leaving her behind but Locke holds her and says, “Trust me; you don’t want to be on that sub.”

Kate on the Sub: wants to go back and get Claire. Jack looks in the backpack for some first aid supplies and discovers the bomb. Jin tells the pilot to resurface. Sayid examines the bomb and says the wires need to be pulled out simultaneously. Jack says that Locke can’t leave the island unless they are all dead; and he wants them to kill each other because he can’t kill them. Jack tells James to trust him and leave the bomb alone. But James pulls the wires out. The clock stops; then starts speeds up its countdown. Sayid must have come out of his trance because he tells Jack that Desmond is on the island and that Locke wants him dead. If that’s the case then they need to make sure he stays alive. Sayid tells Jack that he’s the one who is going to have to save Desmond; Sayid grabs the bomb and runs down the passageway, exploding with it as it detonates. Water rushes in, Sun gets trapped, Jin and James try to free her, Hurley takes Kate to the surface, Lapidas falls when the water rushes in and is presumably killed, Sawyer gets knocked unconscious, Sun begs Jin to leave her as the water is rising, Jack takes Sawyer to the surface, Jin continues to try to free Sun. Jin says he will never leave her again and they kiss, hold each other and say their “I Love Yous” as the water closes in around them and they’re both gone.

I don’t think anyone’s getting out alive.

Jin in LA: passes Locke in the hallway of the hospital. He’s carrying flowers for Sun who is recovering from her gunshot wound. Locke explains to Jack from his wheelchair that it’s his fault that his father can never walk or talk again. Jack tells him that he can keep punishing himself but his father is gone and nothing he does is going to bring him back. Jack tells Locke he thinks he can fix him and he wishes he believed him. Locke considers this then leaves.

On the beach, James stirs but is still unconscious, Kate and Hurley break down into tears when Jack tells them Jin and Sun are gone.

Locke tells Claire that the submarine sank. Claire is upset that they were all on the sub and now they’re all dead. Locke grabs his gun and tells Claire that they weren’t all on the sub; he’s going to go finish what he started.

LOST 6:15 Across the Sea

A woman is floating in the ocean on some wreckage. A pregnant woman. She is injured but makes her way to a stream and fresh water. She is met by another woman who helps her. The first woman is Claudia.

The second woman arrived at the island by accident and she tells Claudia that she is the only one on the island. Claudia wants to find the others from her ship but her labor pains start. She screams bloody murder as the woman helps her deliver.

I had epidurals with both of my babies. Is that really how much women scream during child birth?

The fair-skinned light-haired baby boy is born and Claudia names him Jacob. Her stomach doesn’t go down at all so it’s obvious the “baby in black” is coming out next. We still don’t find out his name. Claudia only chose one baby name. The other woman gruesomely bashes Claudia on the head and kills her. Now she’s the mom.

13-year-old “teenager in black” finds a box on the beach that is a game and uses black and white stones. He tells Jacob that he’ll show him how to play as long as Jacob doesn’t tell their mother. When Jacob questions his brother about how to play the teenager in black tells him that he just knows. In a cave where they live, OK it’s THE cave where the man in black lead Jack to find the water just after the plane crash, Mom is weaving on a loom and Jacob enters but doesn’t tell her where his brother is, except that he’s at the beach looking out into the ocean. Mom asks Jacob if he loves her and he replies yes but Mom knows that there is more to the story. Jacob tells her about the game. Mom goes out to join teenager in black at the beach and he knows that Jacob told her what he found. Mom says that Jacob can’t lie “he’s not like you.” Teenager in black seems bothered by this. I would be too. He asks, “Why, What am I like?” Mom tells him he’s special. Mom reveals that game didn’t wash up from the ocean; she left it for him. She tells him that there is nowhere else across the sea. There is only the island. She continues to explain that the twins came from her and she came from her mother. Teenager in black asks where Grandma is and Mom tells him that she’s dead. He doesn’t know what dead is and mom tells him that it’s something he will never have to worry about.

The boys are chasing a boar through the jungle with spears but up ahead they hear the boar get killed by some strangers. They watch them from behind some tall grass then run back to their mother to tell her. She says they have to stay away from them because the other people are not like them and they are dangerous and even though the others look like them they are not like them and they don’t belong on the island. When she says that she and her boys were on the island for a reason, teenager in black demands to know what that reason is. She expresses her fear that it is not time to let them in on this secret. She tells the boys that the men come from another part of the island. They come, fight, destroy, corrupt it always ends the same. This is what the man in black told Jacob right before he told him that he wanted to kill him. She tells them that people are bad and if the boys ever go looking for them the people will hurt them. Jacob reminds her that they are people; so doesn’t that mean they can hurt each other. Mom says that she made it so they can never hurt each other. She takes them blindfolded to a creek that leads into a small tunnel with a very bright, warm light. She tells them not to go into the tunnel or something worse than death will happen to them. She says that if the light goes out there, then it goes out everywhere. She says that a little bit of this light is in everyone, but men always want more. She says that their purpose is to protect the light. They must make sure no one ever finds it. She has the job now but she can’t protect forever. One of them will have to take her place.

Back at home the boys are playing their game. Teenager in black scolds Jacob for a move he made; he can’t do that because it’s against the rules. Jacob complains, “But you made the rules”. Teenager in black tells Jacob that one day he’ll have his own game then he can make the rules.

A woman appears behind Jacob but only teenager in black can see her. It’s Claudia. Jacob can’t see her though because she’s dead. That’s weird.

Teenager in black (I really wish we knew his name. (Maybe I could call him the brother of Jacob) follows her and she leads him to where he came from. A place he’s never seen that’s across the island. It’s a camp with grass huts. The people who arrived on the shipwreck from across the sea. She tells him that they came from across the sea and that there are many things across the sea. That is where he comes from. He says that there is nothing across the sea because that’s what his mother told her. She tells him that she is his real mother. He returns to the cave and it’s now the middle of the night. He creeps in and wakes Jacob. He has packed his things and tells Jacob that they are leaving to go live with the other people. He tells Jacob that their mother lied to them about everything and that she’s not even their mother. Jacob is furious and beats the crap out of him. Mom pulls Jacob off of him and the brother of Jacob tells her all that he’s learned. Jacob refuses to go with him. Mom says that despite what he’s been told he will never be able to leave the island. He tells her that he’s going to prove her wrong.

The brother of Jacob leaves and Jacob and Mom are sitting on the beach. She admits to killing their mother and explains that she had to do it so he would always be good. If he went with the people he would turn bad. Jacob, knowing that he’s never been the favored son asks her if he’s good and she tells him of course he is. She tells Jacob that she loves him in different ways and she kindly asks him to stay with her. He agrees.

Jacob is now a man. Mom tells him that she is tired. Jacob visits the others’ camp so he can see his brother. They play the game. Jacob occasionally watches the camp to see if their mother was right about the people, to see if they are bad. Brother of Jacob tells him that he’s lived with them for thirty years and their mother may be insane but she was right. They are greedy, manipulative, untrustworthy, and selfish. Jacob wonders why he’s with them. They are a means to an end. That end being to leave the island. Jacob doesn’t believe him so his brother throws his dagger at a stone well and it sticks to the bricks. Around these various places on the island metal behaves strangely and these people he’s been living with are intelligent and curious about how things work, and they’ve figured out a way to leave.

Jacob’s brother asks him to leave with him. Jacob becomes emotional and says that he doesn’t want to leave the island because it’s his home. His brother tells him that the island is not his home.

Jacob returns to his mother and tells her that his brother has finally found a way to leave the island. She goes to the camp and finds her son in the well, which is really a large room. She hasn’t even asked about him since he left and now here she is. He tells her that he has never been able to find the light that she showed him thirty years ago; even though he has searched the whole island for it. He found the light a different way, down in the well and he showed her by pulling a rock out of the wall. There was the light! And in the room next to him was the donkey wheel. He’s going to attach the wheel to a system they are building that channels the water and the light, then when he turns the wheel he’s going to be able to leave. She asks him how he knows that it will work and he tells her, somewhat sarcastically that he’s special.

Somewhere during this episode, the first time I watched it, I started thinking that Mom was really the black smoke.

Mom approaches her son to give him a goodbye hug and then she pushes him back into the wall and knocks him unconscious. She returns to the cave and wakes up Jacob telling him that’s it’s time. Jacob knows that something bad happened. She takes Jacob to the light. She tells Jacob that down in the light is life, death, rebirth; it’s the heart of the island. She warns him again to never go down there because he would be worse than dying. She gives him the wine from the same bottle that Richard drank from and says some kind of chant. She tells Jacob that it’s time for him to take over on the island, but he doesn’t want the job. He knows that Mom’s wanted all along for his brother to be the one, but Jacob’s all she has now. She says that now she realizes it was always supposed to be Jacob. He takes the cup and drinks. She tells him that now they are the same. Jacob’s brother gains consciousness on the ground outside of the well and finds that it’s been buried. He returns to his village and finds that it’s been burned and the people are dead. He takes his dagger to the cave and kills his mother. I’m not sure where this knife came from but it must be the magic knife that can kill the immortal people on the island. As she was dying she said thank you; as if she was glad to finally be able to die.

Speaking of which, I can’t remember the last time we saw Richard, or Ben. Or Rose or Bernard.

Jacob finds his mother, dead in the cave, and his brother. He beats the crap out of his brother – Jacob has a temper. He drags his brother to the creek and tells him that he’s not going to kill him. He’s going to do worse than that. He throws him into the light. And the Black Smoke Monster is born! I still don’t get it.

Jacob finds his brother’s body a ways off by the creek and takes it back to the cave where he places it next to his mother’s body. All this time I was sure that Rose and Bernard were going to be “Adam and Eve” but it was Jacob’s brother and mother. Jacob places a white and black stone into a bag and sets it beside their bodies. This is the bag that Jack and Kate found in the cave way back in Season One.

This is all great but I have a big question. If the man in black is dead in the cave, how did he end up on the beach with Jacob telling him that he wanted to kill him? And when was the statue built?

I feel sorry for both of them. One really wanted to leave. The other wanted to stay with his mother. They were raised by a crazy lady who had told them she made it so they couldn’t hurt each other but they did. I don’t know if Jacob or his brother is better or worse than the other.

Other LOST Recaps

Reel reviews for real people

Rating: PG for brief rude behavior, some language and incidental smoking.

Genre: Romantic Comedy

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Vanessa Redgrave, Christopher Egan, Gael Garcia Bernal

Plot: When a young American (Amanda Seyfried) travels to the city of Verona, home of the star-crossed lover Juliet Capulet of Romeo and Juliet fame, she joins a group of volunteers who respond to letters to Juliet seeking advice about love. After answering one letter dated 1957, she inspires its author (Vanessa Redgrave) to travel to Italy in search of her long-lost love, and sets off a chain of events that will bring a love into both their lives unlike anything they ever imagined. –© Summit

Director: Gary Winick

Running Time: 1:40

Ebert says – 3 stars “I know “Letters to Juliet” is a soppy melodrama, and I don’t mind in the least. I know the ending is preordained from the setup. I know the characters are broad and comforting stereotypes. In this case, I simply don’t care… All of this is wrapped up in unimaginably beautiful shots of the Italian countryside, the warmth of the friendship between Sophie and Claire, and visits to many of the men named Lorenzo Bartolini, which was the name of the boy Claire loved so long ago.” (read full review)

Lisa Schwarzbaum (Entertainment Weekly) says – B+ “How ridiculously romantic is Letters to Juliet? How excessively dolce is this cinematic wish-fulfillment fantasy composed as a sonnet (with a pop-song backbeat) to good wine, beautiful people, Italian vineyards, the enduring power of Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, and the enduring love between Vanessa Redgrave and Italian actor Franco Nero? Let me put it this way: It’s so shamelessly dreamy that not only does flaxen-haired Sophie (Amanda Seyfried, kissed by the camera), an aspiring writer with a mismatched fiancé, find true love on the sun-dappled back roads of Tuscany, but she also gets published in The New Yorker! On her first try!” (read full review)

Roger Moore (Orlando Sentinel) says – 2 stars “It’s a movie of blandly pretty “establishing shots,” Seyfried walking her lovely self across this piazza or that vineyard. Director Gary ÖWinick wrings a few laughs out of the search — “Lorenzos” both handsome and decrepit, or sadly, no longer with us. A bit of stunt-casting makes the search pay off, warmly. But the real courtship here, between the spoken-for Sophie and the doesn’t-believe-in-love Charlie, fizzles.” (read full review)

Michael Phillips (Chicago Tribune) says – 3 stars “The key to the film’s success is its lack of strain. As written by Jose Rivera and Tim Sullivan, this isn’t one of those pushy slapstick affairs; it’s more romantic than comic, and despite the corn there are no villains (not even the nattering fiance is demonized). Seyfried isn’t being tested here, exactly, any more than Diane Lane was challenged as an actress in “Under the Tuscan Sun.” But she delivers a solid and easy star performance. Some young performers lack a relatable quality; Seyfried has it, even with those old-school, big-screen peepers.” (read full review)

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Reel reviews for real people

Rating: PG-13 for violence including intense sequences of warfare, and some sexual content.

Genre: Action/Adventure

Starring: Russell Crowe, Mark Strong, Max Von Sydow, Cate Blanchett

Plot: Oscar-winning actor Russell Crowe and acclaimed director Ridley Scott mark their fifth collaboration with this retelling of the classic Robin Hood legend. Crowe stars as the bow-wielding hero, while fellow Oscar-winner Cate Blanchett plays Maid Marian. This historical action film also stars William Hurt, Matthew Macfadyen, and Mark Strong

Director: Ridley Scott

Running time: 2:20

Kate says -2 1/2 stars “Robin Hood isn’t a terrible movie, it just isn’t a very good one. It’s nearly 2 1/2 hours of mind numbing, monotonous battle scenes full of dirty, bearded men that we end up realizing we don’t care a thing about. Interspersed between the action shots are scenes of uninspiring and unbelievable dialogue. Not a good combination. What this movie lacks is any sort of character development, not even of the main characters, and the supporting cast of characters are all basically interchangeable. The result -  no reason to care what happens…to any of them. On the plus side, there’s some beautiful cinematography when the hand to hand combat slows down enough for us to see it.”

Ebert says -2 stars “Little by little, title by title, innocence and joy is being drained out of the movies. What do you think of when you hear the name of Robin Hood? I think of Errol Flynn, Sean Connery and the Walt Disney character. I see Robin lurking in Sherwood Forest, in love with Maid Marian (Olivia de Havilland or Audrey Hepburn), and roistering with Friar Tuck and the Merry Men. I see a dashing swashbuckler. That Robin Hood is nowhere to be found in Ridley Scott’s “Robin Hood”…The photography is, however, remarkable, and Crowe and the others are filled with fierce energy.” (read full review)

Michael Phillips (Chicago Tribune) says – 3 stars “I liked it. It’s on a par with Scott’s “American Gangster”: No revelations, but a satisfying, large-scale genre movie, toned up by its cast. As history, it’s silly. As entertainment, it works.” (read full review)

Rene Rodriguez (Miami Herald) says – 1/2 star “Robin Hood is certainly a grand-looking picture. For a film that’s filled with CGI effects, there isn’t a single shot that looks artificial, and the production design is tremendous. But it’s a hollow, boring spectacle. Robin Hood achieves something you never would have thought possible: it makes you nostalgic for Kevin Costner and Bryan Adams.” (read full review)

Kirk Honeycutt (The Hollywood Reporter) says - 2 1/2 stars “The film’s hodgepodge approach suggests many rewrites to forge a new angle on Robin Hood plus a desire for the movie to play to many constituencies. Yet Scott has an eye — and it’s a very good one — for sieges of castles, charging horsemen, hand-to-hand combat, glistening swords arcing through the air and deadly arrows whistling toward helpless targets. Streitenfeld’s full-bore, multi-theme score beautifully enhances the visual splendors in John Mathieson’s graceful cinematography while the stunt work, CGI and visual effects are all first class.” (read full review)

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Reel reviews for real people

Rating: PG-13  for sequences of intense sci-fi action and violence, and some language.

Genre: Action/Adventure

Plot: Paramount Pictures and Marvel Entertainment present the highly anticipated sequel to the blockbuster film based on the legendary Marvel Super Hero “Iron Man,” reuniting director Jon Favreau and… Paramount Pictures and Marvel Entertainment present the highly anticipated sequel to the blockbuster film based on the legendary Marvel Super Hero “Iron Man,” reuniting director Jon Favreau and Oscar® nominee Robert Downey Jr. In “Iron Man 2,” the world is aware that billionaire inventor Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) is the armored Super Hero Iron Man. Under pressure from the government, the press and the public to share his technology with the military, Tony is unwilling to divulge the secrets behind the Iron Man armor because he fears the information will slip into the wrong hands. With Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow), and James “Rhodey” Rhodes (Don Cheadle) at his side, Tony forges new alliances and confronts powerful new forces.

Starring: Robert Downey Jr. , Don Cheadle, Gwyneth Paltrow, Scarlett Johansson

Director: Jon Favreau

Running time: 2:04

Kate says – 3 stars “The big blockbuster sequel we’ve been waiting for is finally here. And you’ll be happy to know that  it’s actually very good. Better than the previews make it look. We get more of the irresistible Robert Downey  as the witty, unpredictable, and arrogant Tony Shark. We also get a great over the top hardened villain in Mickey Rourke as Ivan Vanko, a.k.a. Whiplash. Add in a  sexy Scarlett Johansson kicking some butt as Black Widow. There’s also plenty of big loud CGI action and  fighting bang for your buck. (I felt like the fight scenes were a tad too long and  were my least favorite part of the movie, but the others screening Iron Man 2 with me didn’t seem to mind a bit.) The dialogue is sharp and full of the smart, clever, snarky one-liners that sets this movie apart from the typical action/super hero flick. There’s a little something for everyone. I think you’re gonna like this one.”

Ebert says – 3 stars “Iron Man 2″ is a polished, high-ozone sequel, not as good as the original but building once again on a quirky performance by Robert Downey Jr. The superhero genre doesn’t necessarily require good acting, but when it’s there (as in “Iron Man” and “The Dark Knight”), that takes it up a level…You want a sequel, you got a sequel. “Iron Man 2,” directed like the first one by Jon Favreau, gets the job done. Since both movies have essentially the same story arc, there aren’t a lot of surprises, however, which started me to wondering how the guys survive inside those suits. Sure, the suits are armored, but their bodies aren’t. How many dizzying falls and brutal blows and sneaky explosions can you survive without breaking every bone in your body? Just asking’. At the end of a long day, those suits should be filled with bloody pulp.” (read full review)

Michael Phillips (Chicago Tribune) says – 2 1/2 stars “The first “Iron Man” celebrated Downey Jr.’s Stark as a sardonic, charismatic winner while questioning, for a while, anyway, the means by which Stark’s family made its billions. The new film is far more in love with its hardware…What saves it is Favreau’s work with the cast. He’s still no great shakes as a shaper of action sequences, but at least he and Theroux realize there’s more to a zillion-dollar franchise item than setting up the next destruction showcase. It helps that nearly every performer on screen has a verifiable, useful sense of humor. Downey Jr. and Rourke never quite emerge as epic contenders in a death match, but they’re terrific faces to watch in any circumstance.” (read full review)

Pete Hammond (Box Office Magazine) says – 3 1/2 stars (of 5) “As he was the first time around, Downey Jr. is the man! Taking on the mantle of a comic book hero after age 40 is unusual but Downey makes it palatable. Gwyneth Paltrow returns nicely as the ever-faithful Pepper, who is now running the company and trying to keep Tony out of trouble. Cheadle ably replaces Terrence Howard as Rhodey and gets his own “Iron Man” moment, while Slattery has a key flashback cameo as the elder Stark. As one of the new villains, Johansson oozes sex appeal and shows she has a natural flair for martial arts. Meanwhile the tattooed and imposing Rourke is a hoot with thick Russian accent and a penchant for pet birds. Best of all is Rockwell who plays the low-rent rival of Stark to the hilt, particularly in the opening Senate hearing where he tries to unsuccessfully squash his arrogant competitor. Fans of the first will not be bored. This Iron Man may not be the Godfather II of comic book movie sequels critics hope for but it is a complete blast anyway.” (read full review)

Kirk Honeycutt (The Hollywood Reporter) says – 2 stars “Well, that didn’t take long. Everything fun and terrific about “Iron Man,” a mere two years ago, has vanished with its sequel. In its place, “Iron Man 2″ has substituted noise, confusion, multiple villains, irrelevant stunts and misguided story lines. A film series that started out with critical and commercial success will have to settle for only the latter with this sequel; Robert Downey Jr.’s return as Tony Stark/Iron Man will assure that.” (read full review)

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Island Reality

This episode picks up right where it left off last week. Jack and his gang walked into the camp of the Black Smoke Monster. Jack gets permission from Hurley to have a private discussion with Fake Locke. Jack isn’t bothered by the fact that the smoke monster looks just like John Locke but he is bothered that he has no idea what the hell the black-smoke-monster-thing-that-looks-like-John-Locke-is. Fake Locke replies, “Sure you do.” As in, “sure you have an idea of what I am.”

Jack, this would have been another great time to NOT change the subject.  I would have loved to have heard a better explanation from Smokey or some intelligent guess from Jack.

*sigh*

Fake Locke tells Jack that he chose John Locke because Locke was stupid enough to believe that he had been brought to island for a reason; but he wasn’t a believer, he was a sucker. After Locke was killed, Jack was nice enough to bring Locke’s body back in the coffin. Jack asks him if he was the one who looked like his dead father, Christian Shephard, who has been seen at various times on the island.

Yes, Jack. We already knew that. He wanted to make sure you found your way to the caves so you could find water.

Fake Locke tries to reassure Jack that all he’s ever been interested in doing is helping him. Fake Locke wanted to help them all leave the island, but since Jacob had chosen the candidates, they were trapped, even before their plane crashed. Now that Jacob is dead they aren’t trapped anymore. All they have to do is get on the plane together and leave.

L.A. Reality

John Locke, who has just been run over by adorable Desmond, is being transported by ambulance to the hospital. Benjamin Linus is riding along and explains to the medic that John was paralyzed and in a wheel chair when he was hit by the car. That explains why he has no reflexes in his lower limbs. The medic asks if there is a family member to notify but Ben doesn’t even know that his first name is John, let alone that he’s engaged to Helen. John is consciousness enough to tell them about Helen, even though he’s strapped down to a board and in a neck brace; and Ben tells Locke that he’s going to be OK and he’s still going to marry Helen Norwood.

My husband predicted last week that John was hit by the car so that Jack would be able to repair his spinal injury. If that’s true, I wonder if that’s what Desmond had in mind when he plowed over him in the school parking lot.

At the hospital, Locke is being wheeled down the sidewalk on the gurney right next to someone else who just arrived by ambulance. It’s a Korean woman who was just shot in the abdomen. Poor Sun! Sun doesn’t like seeing Locke there and shouts out to Jin, who is walking beside her stretcher, “No, No!, It’s him.”

What?! I don’t recall their paths having crossed in the alternate reality so why is she saying that?

Island

Claire followed Locke and Jack into the jungle. She wanted to find out if Jack knew that Smokey was the one pretending to be their father. She seems pretty bitter that no one came back for her after she departed. Repeat, she departed.

Producers? Writers? We want to know what happened when Smoke Monster Christian showed up at the campsite way back in Season 4. What did he say to get Claire to follow him and leave Aaron behind? Why did she look so stoned when she was in Jacob’s cabin with Smoke Monster Christian? Lots of gaps still need to be filled in.

Claire feels happy that Jack is coming on the plane with her because she hasn’t really had much of a family.  Jack tells her he hasn’t decided if he’s coming or not. Claire tells him that whether he likes it or not, he decided to join them the moment he let Fake Locke talk to him.

The next morning Sawyer tells Hurley that Widmore has a submarine and they are planning on leaving the island that way, not on the airplane with Fake Locke. I wouldn’t trust Hurley with any secret, but that’s just me. Kate pulled Sun aside and told her about their plan. Sawyer tells Hurley that Sayid isn’t invited because he’s gone over to the dark side but Hurley points out that people can come back from the dark side, like Anakin. Sawyer has no idea who he’s talking about. Maybe this means that there is hope for Sayid after all. I want Sayid to be OK.

Claire, Locke, and Jack come back to join the others at the camp and Locke gets all sentimental that everyone is back together again. Now that the last candidate, Jack, is here, Fake Locke sees that his plan to leave is beginning to materialize.

L.A.

Detective James Ford is processing Kate for arson, assault of a federal officer, and murder in the first degree. Kate denies murdering anyone and James tells her he thinks it’s weird that they were on the same flight from Sydney, and then they met up in the elevator at the airport when Kate was trying to get away from the Federal Marshall, then she crashes her car into his car in L.A. It’s like someone is trying to put them together.

I don’t think Cupid Desmond has been around them. I keep thinking that Kate and Jack are going to get together. But, in the alternate reality, Jack has a son. We know that Kate isn’t the mom. Maybe Juliet is. And Kate does end up with Sawyer. Hmmm……

Kate wonders why James didn’t arrest her at the airport when he saw she was wearing handcuffs. James says that he didn’t see any handcuffs (wink, wink), he just saw a pretty lady who needed the elevator door held open for her. Kate is always one step ahead of everyone. She believes that he didn’t arrest her because he didn’t want anyone to know that he was in Australia. She’s a smart one. Kate asks James if she should tell that to the feds when they arrive and he just smiles and says, “Oh, I like you.”

Miles pulls James from the conversation to show him a new multiple homicide they need to work on. It turns out to be Keamy and his henchmen at the restaurant. And Sayid is the prime suspect.

Island

It’s just a lazy day in the camp until Zoe, Widmore’s #2, walks in with her hands up demanding to speak with the man in charge. Fake Locke feigns innocence when she tells him that he must return what he took from them. On her command someone from Widmore’s group fires a missile that explodes near their location. She tells Locke that he has until nightfall to return [Desmond] or they won’t miss next time. I wish she had been more specific since no one, except Sayid, even knows Desmond is there. She leaves her walkie talkie so that Locke can tell them when they can pick up Desmond. He drops it to the ground, smashes it with the tree branch he’s been whittling on, and says, “Well, here we go.”

L.A.

Claire arrives at an adoption agency in a high rise building and Desmond just happens to be there as well. I’m not sure I like this stalking version of Desmond. She tells him she’s doing well, although she had a little scare and ended up in the hospital, and that Desmond was right about her baby being a boy. He accompanies Claire up the escalator and elevator with her, and talks her into speaking with an attorney before she goes to sign adoption papers. He’s going to foot the bill. The attorney turns out to be Ilana! Desmond introduces her and Ilana is happily surprised because she has been looking for Claire Littleton from Australia; the same one who is in Christian Shepard’s will that Ilana is working on. It’s not clear if Desmond knew about this, but I suspect he did.

Island

Locke tells everyone that Widmore has forced their hand earlier than he expected and they are going to split up and head for the plane immediately. Locke instructs Sawyer to get the sailboat and meet him and the others. Sawyer asks Kate to go with him and pulls Jack aside and tells him to break away from the group and meet up with them at the sailboat. He tells him to bring Hurley, Sun, and Lapidus (who looked like he just stepped out of a Burt Reynolds movie) but not Sayid or Claire. Sayid is a Zombie and Claire gave up her ticket when she tried to kill Kate.

Locke tells Sayid to go kill Desmond before they leave. Desmond is still down inside the well where Locke pushed him. When Desmond looks up and sees Sayid point the gun in his direction he asks Sayid what Fake Locke offered him. Desmond deserves to know what Sayid is getting in exchange for killing him in cold blood. Sayid still believes that he will be able to get his dead girlfriend, Nadia, back if he does as Locke wishes. After all, Sayid died and Locke brought him back. Desmond has a great idea. He tries to make Sayid feel guilty. What will Nadia think when she finds out that Sayid killed a man in cold blood so he could be with her? Who knows if it will work? But in the next scene…

L.A.

Sayid is packing to leave forever. He just killed the men who were after her husband (Sayid’s brother) and the cops are after him now. Nadia seems horrified that he did something terrible. Ding. Dong. Miles and James calling. Nadia tries to stall Miles at the front door but James is waiting for Sayid in the back yard. One yank of the garden hose and Sayid trips and falls right where James can handcuff him. Remember when Sayid tortured Sawyer for the inhaler. That was awesome.

Island

Kate and Sawyer arrive at the sailboat. Kate asks him if he really thinks it’s a good idea to go with Locke and he tells her the change of plans. We all know that Kate doesn’t like to be caught off guard but she handled the late breaking news OK.

Wait a second! I thought Kate was telling Sun about the change of plans at the beginning of this episode.

Kate is not happy that Claire wasn’t invited to join them. Sawyer reminds her that Claire isn’t the same since she started drinking Locke’s Kool-Aid and anyone can see it would not be a good idea for Claire to be anywhere near Aaron.

Locke’s group is moving along through the jungle which gives the newly reunited half- brother and sister some bonding time. Jack asks Claire how long she had been with Locke and he said since everyone left her; and she trusts Locke because he’s the only one who didn’t abandon her. Boo Hoo, Claire! No one abandoned you!

Locke asks Sun if she’s seen Sayid because he hasn’t come back from doing his dirty work. When she doesn’t answer, Fake Locke gets all offended that she would give him the silent treatment. She pulls her notebook and pen out of her backpack and writes, “You did this to me.” Yeah, remember, you were chasing her and she ran into a tree, Locke! He denies his involvement then moves back through the line where he tells Cindy, the flight attendant, to keep everyone moving and that James should be catching up with them. Locke turns back toward where they came from and he tells Cindy that he’s going back to make sure no one got left behind. Jack makes his move. He has Sun, Lapidus and Hurley bolt in another direction. Claire hides behind a tree and watches them. She’s either going to tattle or follow.

Locke finds Sayid and asks him what took him so long. Sayid seems irked that Locke keeps checking up on him. He says that he just shot an unarmed man and he needed a moment. Locke looks into Sayid’s eyes and asks him if he killed him. Sayid stares right back and tell him that of course he did and he can go check if he wants to. Desmond seems so important to the storyline that I don’t think he’s dead.

Have you noticed that Terry O’Quinn portrays the man in black very well? I mean, he moves his head the way he did and has similar expressions. He deserves the Emmy this year.

The Boat

Jack’s group (I guess Hurley isn’t in charge any more) meets up with Kate and Sawyer at the sail boat.  Sawyer tells them that they can’t leave the island on the boat because they don’t have the bearing. They are going to Hydra Island so Widmore can make good on his promise to let them all leave on the sub while Smoke Locke is delivered into their hands.

*Shotgun click click sound*

It’s Claire. And she looks mad. Kate tells Claire that they are leaving the island. Claire wants to know why they aren’t waiting for John. She really, really likes this guy. Kate tries to tell her that the person she believes to be John isn’t John; he’s not one of them. Kate tells Sawyer that if Claire isn’t allowed to come then she isn’t coming either. Kate is bound and determined to get Claire back to Aaron. Kate reminds Claire that she helped deliver Aaron and she promises Claire that she will get her back to her son. Claire states the obvious, “When John finds out they’re gone he’s going to be mad.” We all know how awesome the show is when Smokey gets mad!

L.A.

Sun wakes up in the hospital with Jin at her side. She is going to be fine and the baby is fine. All is hunky dory except for that one part where Sun freaked out when she saw Locke being wheeled into the hospital.

Jack and son arrive at the attorney’s office to settle Christian Shepard’s will. This father and son team sure seems to be getting along splendidly now. She asks Jack if he believes in fate because she has a surprise for him. I think I failed to mention that Ilana lost her accent. Jack and Claire meet and discover that they have the same father. Before they have a chance to take care of business Jack gets an emergency call at the hospital. It’s no surprise that John Locke is prepped for spinal surgery and laying on the table.

The Boat

Sawyer congratulates Jack for showing up at the sail boat. He knows Jack doesn’t like to take orders. Jack goes all soft and tells him that leaving the island doesn’t feel right. Jack still thinks they were brought to the island to do something. If Smoke Locke wants them to leave so badly, maybe he’s afraid of what will happen if they stay. Sawyer tells Jack to stop that crazy talk or get off the boat. Jack thinks Sawyer also believes deep down that they shouldn’t leave. Sawyer says he’s done with island and he doesn’t care. Jack expresses his sincere regret for getting Juliet killed, right before he jumps overboard and swims back to the shore. Kate is not happy.

The Island

At the exact place Jack makes it back to the beach, Locke and the group of Others are waiting. Jack confirms that Sawyer took the boat.

Hydra Island

The boat and its passengers make it to Hydra Island. They are greeted by Widmore’s group and their rifles. Zoe radios to Widmore that Sawyer’s back. Jin comes out of the jungle and is finally reunited with Sun. Awww…Ok it was a happy moment but to me sort of anti-climatic. I don’t know why though. And Sun can now speak English. Widmore tells Zoe to execute them and to fire a missile at Locke location on the other island.

The Island

Jack is near the explosion and when it hits the beach he flies through the air. Fake Locke picks him up and carries him to safety. He tells Jack that everything is going to be OK because Jack’s with him now.