Even for those of you prone to that perpetual angelic state of being, you’d have to admit the best way to celebrate is by doing something you know is off limits, knowing that since it’s National Get out of the Doghouse Day, no one can stay mad at you for long. (Remember that timeless advice: ask for forgiveness, not permission…)

July 23 is Hot Enough For Ya Day, to which I can currently respond, “no, it isn’t.”

With highs in the upper 60s and lows in the upper 40s and low 50s, it is far from being hot enough. This is mid-July, after all – not late fall. My advice is to store this little holiday away until later in the summer, when (one would hope) the temperatures rebound into the 90s or better.

Here’s a holiday you won’t have to wait to celebrate: Cow Appreciation Day, which falls on July 25 (depending on who you ask). Before going any further, I should point out that this holiday is celebrated on at least four different days. Apparently, it depends on who you ask. I say the 25th sounds like a good day to celebrate.

This seems to be one of the most well-rounded holidays out there. What is there not to appreciate? Good ol’ Besse gives us milk and cheese, burgers and rib-eyes, coats and couches, wallets and shoes.

Not to mention they’re really cute to look at, too. Try driving by a herd of cattle, minding their own business, standing in a pond or grazing on a hillside. Tell me that’s not endearing. (Yeah, you may have to hold your nose, but that’s hardly the point now, is it?)

Talk about your versatility. Cows are cool.

It should go without saying that this one is gonna be an all-day celebration, beginning with an ice cold glass of milk. I don’t like milk, so I’ll have ice cream. I told you cows were versatile! Go to a leather store and soak up the smell of the rawhide. Heck – treat yourself to a new wallet or purse, and thank that cow for it’s service!

Dinner should be a no-brainer. Fire up the grill and throw on your choice of beef. If you go the burger route, add a little cheese, too.

After dinner, take a drive out into the country (or for those of you lucky enough to live there, look out your window) and watch the cows.

Some will say this is a good day to hug or kiss a cow as well, although I don’t recommend going to that extreme. Perhaps you could organize a cow pattie throwing contest instead.

Just make sure the patties are completely dried out…

Until next week, get your party on!

Enjoy your Coffee Break!

But it seems they’ve gone to new heights. They are now suing Kraft (makers of Oscar Mayer dogs), Sara Lee, Nathan’s Famous, Sabrett, and Hebrew National, demanding they place wiener warning (WARNING: Ol’ Frank here causes CANCER) labels on packages sold in New Jersey.

Sure, the official warning label will probably be worded a bit differently, but you get the point – and can probably almost hear their staff meeting pep talk: “Today, we ban hot dogs in New Jersey! Tomorrow, we take over the world!!”

Oddly enough, turns out the Cancer Project is a vegan advocacy group… wait a minute! Aren’t vegans anti-meat?? Who coulda seen that coming?

Straight from their own website come these words: “The good news is that more fresh vegetables, fruits, and low-fat meatless meals can reduce the risk of cancer.” (Emphasis mine.) See, this isn’t soley about hotdogs.

It’s about all meat.

I seem to remember a nasty little spinach issue a year or two ago (gee – I thought E coli applied only to cookie dough). It’s not just spinach – Salmonella and E coli can be found in other fruits and veggies as well. But don’t expect the Cancer Project to bring that up. I’m sure that’s very different.

But as I pointed out in Monday’s rant, I had a feeling the DingDong police were coming. And if they’re already going after the hotdog – a staple of summertime cookouts for more than a 100 years, I think we know what’s coming next.

So might I suggest you relish in a little trip down memory lane as we close out today’s rant, with what I suspect is the most famous of all odes to the hot dog:

I’m just sayin…

-Liz

Enjoy your Coffee Break!

Want to submit your own story to be considered for the Guest Headline post to run on Friday’s???? Just send your story to: lizandkate@live.com and check back on Friday to see if your story was selected.

Grilling Tips

Instead of spraying your hot grill with a non-stick spray (who can say explosion?),  soak a paper towel with cooking oil and use a tong to rub the towel over the grill rack. You can also get an extra basting brush (use this one only for greasing the grill, please), and brush the oil onto the rack. Voila! It’s the perfect answer to keeping food from sticking!

Liz