Get your party on: 10/17-10/23

Remember the TV show Three’s Company? Well, in one episode, Larry, the used car salesman, declared that it was, in fact, Wear Something Gaudy Day. It stuck. So in a way, we’re about to get a jump start on Halloween as we celebrate Wear Something Gaudy Day on Oct. 17.

Much of the attire from the 1970s – and in retrospect, that show – was pretty gaudy if memory serves. So if you still have your brightly colored bell bottoms or jumpsuits, drag ‘em out of the attic. Add some flashy jewelry and massive curls to your hair and you’ll be good to go.

At the grand age of 39 (you LIE!!) I approach our next holiday with a tiny tinge of trepidation, with Evaluate Your Life Day on Oct. 19. You see, when I do things like evaluate my life, I have a tendancy to become even more self-critical than normal. And that’s saying a lot since I’m quite famous for being my own worst critic.

Instead of noting all that is good, I’m prone to listing all the shoulda-coulda-woulda’s, which is when I GET REALLY IRRITATED AND THAT LITTLE VOICE IN MY HEAD SHOUTS AT THE TOP OF ITS LUNGS, BEGGING ME TO QUESTION WHAT I’M REALLY DOING IN THIS GAME OF LIFE!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You probably think I’m yelling, now.

To the contrary. I’ve just shown you how to combine holidays! CAPS LOCK DAY IS OCT. 22.

Now that we’re having more fun than should be allowed, let’s move along.

Oct. 23 is National Mole Day. Take a wild guess as to what this holiday commemorates. Here are your choices:

1. Spies
2. Those pesky little creatures that get into gardens and dig tunnels
3. A basic measuring unit in chemistry, known as Avogadro’s Number, which is 6.02 x 10^2

Made your guess? Good. Now watch this totally strange video to see if you answered correctly:

I think that’s about all the time we have to devote to Mole Day, don’t you?

In fact, I think we’re about spent at this point. So until next week, get your party on!