Liz’s rant: The graduate

With T-minus 24 days until Hannah graduates from high school, I find myself in a bit of a panic. You see, two months after I originally told her to pick out (and order) her graduation announcements, they remain un-ordered – and un-picked out. And apparently, it’s up to me to un-do certain calamity. (Don’t I have enough to do as it is??)

So being the perfect mother I am (quit laughing), I spent a good deal of time surfing the internet and looking at print shops for graduation announcements. The first thing that caught my attention was how far we’ve come from my days as a high school and college student. Although the classic announcements are still available, they’re overshadowed by new, hip announcements, featuring photos of the graduate, the family dog or, in some cases, a full blown collage.

Others featured sappy poems about “smiles and tears throughout the years” crap. I don’t think so.

Some people have dismissed the paper altogether, opting to send out emails, directing the email-ee to a website dedicated to the graduate. (Tempting… very tempting…)

Through my traditional-thinking eyes, none of these options resembled graduation announcements. And the pricing on the paper versions was through the roof – as in you may wanna take out a second mortgage.

So I returned home, opened up a new project in Publisher, and stirred the creative brain cells. After designing two cards, I showed them to Hannah, who seemed pleased with my work. (Like she has room to say jack squat this late in the game.)

Except she wants a card that folds. Note to my daughter: flat panel cards are cheaper than the folded ones for a reason.

“Why do you want a card that folds?”

“Because I’m gonna put my graduation picture in them.”

“Really? And have you chosen which graduation photo you’ll use?”

“Not really.”

“When do you plan to do that?”

“IDK. Oh – also, can you make the card flip up, not across?”

“I… D… K…”

She was really pushing her luck – and all the wrongs buttons with me.

Throughout our entire discussion, there’d been one more burning question in the back of my mind – one I’d almost been afraid to ask:

“Tell me you at least ordered your cap and gown.”

“Of course I did. What do you think I am, Mom? Crazy?”

“I’ll let you decide that, dear. Meanwhile, I have announcements to design, so get out, make yourself useful and pick out the photo you want to include.”

“Can I do that later? This has worn me out.”

-Liz